Little Miss Angsty


People with laptops and serious faces are surrounding me right now in the Mechanical Engineering building. Hah, I am not alone! , I thought to myself. But even so, the deep anger I have towards my life right now does not just magically subside. Look at that Superman up there? My sister named him Ang. It stands for Angry and Angsty. His face tells it all, just like how I am feeling right about now. It's just that period of life repeating itself, actually. The time when you just stopped whatever you are doing, sighed, and wanted to run away from all what life has thrown right smack onto your face. How you wish life is an object that you can scream at, throw the same shit as what it has given you. But alas, it will never happen. 

"The grass is always greener on the other side."
That is what they always say. The wise will go on about how everyone has their own downside and blah blah blahhhh... But really? I mean, how down can a life of that friend of mine who has the unlimited amount of money and freedom? How about that other one with the pretty face, brainy and nice character? How about that other one who made it famous now? Damn I was smarter than him in grade school. So, there's really a downside eh? The grass is really greener, no kidding. 

Yeah, it is that moment when I turn sour. Everything just seemed to be wrong. The never ending amount of work that has led to me being anti-social plus gaining a ton of weight due to the amount of stress really piss me off. And to make it even worse, that pathetic life of yours have to stay hidden as a secret, you need to fake that smile in front of people because to some people, you are that perfect little miss. And no, you don't really want to destroy that image cos that is the last thing you have. 

At moments like this, I really want to be home. In the room that is located next to my mom's so that when nightmare comes, I could just run to her and get that soothing hug till I fall asleep. But home is just too far now. In 2 weeks I will be home and home means new hope, a good place to be mentally prepared for what life has for you in the next semester. 

For now, all I can do is to bite my lips, continue typing on my laptop to finish up the report due tomorrow and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Cos you know when ice cream does not help, nothing really can help you anymore but God. Yeah, time to pray and move on. If any of you out there is in the same situation, I hope you guys will feel better soon cos I goddamn well know how it feels and it sucks. 

Happy working!

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